Crack Fic: The Destruction of the Chair
by Christine O
Summary: The TARDIS lands on John's chair.


"AMY NO DON'T GO OUT IT'S NOT THE RIGHT PLACE" THE DOCTOR YELLED, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE BECAUSE AMY OPENED THE DOOR AND THEN THE DOCTOR HAD TO GO TOO AND RORY GOT LEFT IN THE TARDIS BECAUSE HE WAS ON TIME OUT FOR TOUCHING THE DOCTORS ASS BY ACCIDENT

THE DOCTOR LOOKED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TARDIS AND THEN HE REALIZED HE LANDED ON TOP OF A SACRED CHAIR. THEN THE DOCTOR HEARD YELLING SO HE RAN TO SAVE THE PEOPLE WHO WERE DEFINITELY DYING FROM ALIENS AND AMY FOLLOWED HIM BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BECOME A SCARY MONSTER

SHERLOCK WOKE UP TO A SCARY WHOOSHING NOISE AND THEN HE BECAME A FRIGHTENED PUPPY.

"JOHNIE IM SCARED PLS HELP ME" HE YELLED AS LOUD AS HE COULD EVEN THOUGH JOHNIE WONNIE WAS IN BED WITH HIIM BECAUSE HE HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT CAKE ICING GOING IN HIS TEA

"OW YOU ARE HURTING MY EARS SHERLOCK I CRI NOW BECAUSE IM SAD THAT YOU ARE A BUTT."

"IM SORRY JOHNIE ARE YOU OK I DIDN'T MEAN TO I PROMISE I DIDN'T PLEASE PLEASE FORGIVE ME JOHNIE"

"WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP SHERLOCK? I AM TIRED BUT NOW I WILL GO MAKE TEA BECAUSE I AM AWAKE"

"NO JOHN YOU CANT THERE IS A SCARY THING OUT— "

THEN THE DOOR OPENED AND THE DOCTOR SAID "HELLO! I'M THE DOCTOR AND THIS IS AMY! SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR LOVE FEST I WILL GO NOW BECAUSE I AM SORRY PLS DON'T CRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT EVERYTHING WILL BE OKEY DOKEY DO NOT WORRY"

"SEE I TOLD YOU THERE IS A SCARY MONSTER THERE LOOK AT THE DOORWAY" SHERLOCK YELLED IN JOHN'S FACE

NOTICE HE DIDN'T DENY THAT IT'S A LOVE FEST

"NO I AM NOT A SCARY MONSTER IM SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I WILL NEVER BE A SCARY MONSTER TO YOU I CRI NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A MEANIE WEENIE."

"NO DON'T LEAVE YOU NEED TO HAVE SOME TEA" JOHN TOLD HIM

"BUT THE SCARY MAN SAID I AM A SCARY MONSTER AND I CRI"

"NO WE CAN SETTLE THIS IT WILL BE OKEY DOKEY"

"DOCTOR COME ON HE SAID IT WILL BE OKEY DOKEY AND PEOPLE WHO SAY OKEY DOKEY ARE COOL" AMY REASSURED HIM

"K FINE BUT IF THE SCARY MAN CALLS ME A SCARY MONSTER THEN I CRI AND WE ARE LEAVING"

"THEN DON'T CALL ME SCARY MAN BECAUSE THEN I CRI TOO" SHERLOCK SAID

"K FINE BE LIKE THAT"

THEN THEY WENT OUT OF THE ROOM AND JOHN ASKED WHY THE HELL A POLICE BOX WAS ON HIS CHAIR AND HE GOT ANGRY BECAUSE HIS CHAIR WAS DEAD AND HE TOLD AMY AND THE DOCTOR TO GET OUT

"NOOOOOOO JOHNIE I CAN FIX IT I JUST NEED TO REPLICATE THE CHAIR'S DNA AND IT WILL BE OKEY DOKEY" THE DOCTOR SAID

"BUT THE CHAIR DOES NOT HAVE A DNA" SHERLOCK SAID, CONFUSED.

"TRUST ME IM THE DOCTOR AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKEY DOKEY"

"OK FINE BUT YOU NEED TO FIX MY CHAIR FIRST OR YOU DON'T GET A TEA"

THE DOCTOR GOT A BROKEN PIECE OF CHAIR AND RAN INTO HIS POLICE BOX YELLING "GERONIMO!"

THEN HE FELL ON THE FLOOR AND RORY HAD TO FIX HIM BEFORE HE COULD FIX THE CHAIR. AFTER HE FIXED THE CHAIR USING SUPERIOR TIME LORD TECHIES, HE FOUND A FEZ IN THE HALLWAY AND PUT IT ON

SHERLOCK THE CURIOUS LITTLE BOY DECIDED TO BE A BAD CHILD AND GO IN THE TARDIS EVEN THOUGH IT IS DANGEROUS AND THEN HE PATTED THE TARDIS AND TOLD HER SHES COOL, WHICH MADE HER HAPPY SO SHE LED HIM TO THE DOCTOR WHO HAD JUST PICKED UP THE FEZ AND SHERLOCK GOT JEALOUS SO THE TARDIS GAVE HIM A BETTER FEZ THAN THE ONE THE DOCTOR HAD

THE DOCTOR LOOKED UP AND SAID "NO WHY DO YOU GET THER BETTER FEZ THAT'S NOT FAIR I CRI"

BUT THE TARDIS DOES NOT LIKE THE DOCTOR CRYING SO SHE GAVE HIM A BETTER FEZ TOO AND THE DOCTOR KISSED THE WALLS AFTER HE PUT ON HIS NEW, SUPERIOR FEZ. THEN HE TOLD SHERLOCK "RUN" SO THEY RAN AND GOT BACK TO RORY WHO WAS STILL ON TIME OUT SO HE WAS SAD

"DOCTOR CAN I STOP TIMEOUT NOW BECAUSE I AM SAD THAT IM ALONE FOREVER AND I CRI"

"K FINE RORY THE ROMAN COME WITH US BUT YOU NEED TO WEAR A FEZ TOO" THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM AND THEN HE GAVE RORY HIS OTHER FEZ AND RORY PUT IT ON SO HE COULD LEAVE TIMEOUT

"OI STUPID FACE I FORGIVE YOU" AMY YELLED

"YAY" THEY ALL SAID BECAUSE THE DOCTOR DOES NOT LIKE THEM FIGHTING

JOHN FINISHED MAKING THE TEA SO EVERYONE GOT A TEA BECAUSE JOHN GOT HIS CHAIR BACK AND THEY WERE ALL HAPPY BUT THEN LESTRADE CAME IN AND BOTHERED THEM BECAUSE HE WANTED A TEA TOO SO THE DOCTOR MADE A TEA FOR HIM USING SUPERIOR TIME LORD DNA REPLICATION TECHNOLOGY AND THEN HE WAS HAPPY AND MRS HUDSON CAME IN AND SAID GOOD BOYS AND THEY ALL DRANK TEA

 **the end**


End file.
